Tuesday, 16 May 2017

Learning When To Take Time Out

I am 21, I have a bachelors degree, I started my career with a bang in a pretty impressive building, to build my experience further I did a three month internship on top of my full time job, i'm trying to blog with fairly decent content, keep up my social media platforms, maintain both close and long distance friendships and keep a positive mental attitude. Now, reading that I realise that I have a ton of stuff going on, and it really does take its toll on both my physical and mental health.

At the beginning of the year, I wrote about my new years resolutions , one of the goals I was aiming to achieve by the end of the year was to take more time out to focus on self love. I have to say that I am excelling at this. I've learnt the importance of self love, and how much better it can make me feel. For me, self love doesn't always mean having a pamper evening, or getting a good nights sleep. Although they're both important for your well being, I think there are different things that can add to your self love. I will give you an insight to the things I have been doing to improve myself as a young woman learning to get the best out of life.

Up keeping My Appearance
I am a very pale girl and have very fair hair. I get my eyebrows waxed regularly, I dye them myself and also get my eyelashes tinted. Although most people probably don't notice, this is a huge thing for me because it makes such a difference to my appearance. I just need to make sure I don't let my brows get too unruly before getting them waxed. Another thing that boosts my confidence in my appearance is having a tan. Now I am a big lover of fake tan, it's cheap, instant and doesn't damage your skin like a sun bed. Although i'm a lover, I can't help but hate the process of tanning.. standing around in my flat naked waiting for it to dry, getting brown stains on my sheets and pj's from where it comes off in the night. I either fake tan religiously or leave it ages and then feel like a goddess when I do finally get round to it. It's something I should stick to because it makes me feel good, but the effort can sometimes be a tad too much. 

Contacting Friends Regularly
I've always been a believer that if someone wants to make effort with you they will, and if they don't make effort then they simply don't care. Well, as I've got older, and hopefully wiser. I've learnt this isn't always the case. Adults have a lot of shit going on in their lives, and everyone is different. I go on my phone regularly and sometimes don't understand why people don't reply to texts instantly or whatever. But I just need to remember that everyone has a ton of stuff going on.. Maintaining friendships is so so important to me so if that means I'm contacting someone first then so be it. I don't have a close knit group of friends that I see every weekend, but I do have a handful of close friends that I could go months with out seeing, and then as soon as we are reunited it is as though nothing has changed. For me that is much more important. 

Being Selfish
I am such a people pleaser, I will literally do anything (within reason) to make someone happy. Sometimes this means I'm not making myself happy. I am slowly learning to be selfish, this can consist of saying no to things that I don't really want to do, buying things for myself rather than treating someone else etc. The big thing for me is saying no, I pile huge amounts of things on myself and then don't actually have any free time to relax. Although I do love being busy and seeing lots of people so I don't get lonely, sometimes I do need just one night to lie down on my sofa and watch shitty TV. It is ok to say no!

Reverting Back To The Old Me
As i've grown up, I seem to have lost certain interests due to wanting to fit in with people, or to get people to like me. This is not the way to do it, if I could go back and give myself advice, it would be to not change for anyone!! This can be things such as changing my fashion style, my music taste and even the opinions I have. I've recently started listening to the music I want to which is very diverse and dressing the way that makes me feel like me again. And I feel soooooooo good for it! If I want to mosh in my car and play air drums one minute to some rock, then sing along to Justin Beiber's latest banger then that is what I will do. I'm sick of people telling me they don't like something I love and then suddenly I stop loving it just to impress them. If people don't like me for who I really am, then I definitely do not need them in my life! 

What do you do to focus on self love? Do you have any tips for me?


  1. Loved this post and I completely agree with everything you said! It's so easy to get caught up in life and not look after ourselves. xx


    1. Thank you my love! I've definitely started putting myself forward and its great! x

  2. Love personal posts like this! definitely need to take some time out for yourself and be selfish once in a while :)

    Olivia / Olivia Roses

    1. Thank you Olivia! Yeah I have been super selfish and I feel so much better for it xx

  3. I'm a people pleaser too, but sometimes its important to put yourself first! Lovely post xx

    Lauren x Huggled

    1. It is so important to put yourself first! Thank you :) xx

  4. Loved this post, self love is so important as is putting yourself first. I've gone through so many different stages of dressing and acting in my life that I've finally found what's actually me now. So I do, completely get this.
    As for friendships and making the effort, life does get busy. Some do make the effort some don't, but it's important to remember life is difficult and we are all battling different things.

    Keep doing you, life will only go up from there X


    1. Thank you Alys! This is lovely of you :) xx

  5. Great list! I agree with staying in touch with friends. Aside from birthday wishes I try to contact my friends and catch up with them to see how they are doing =o)


  6. Loved this! Doing what is right for you is SO key to staying balanced in life xx


  7. Love this post! Really great points :D xx

  8. Caring and helping others is fine, but sometimes you need to put yourself first. Great post!

    Vanessa x | www.springlilies.com

  9. This post is so true, taking care of yourself is important!


  10. Love this post! I absolutely agree to all you said :)

    ❤️ Alyssa // STYLE VANITY // Instagram

  11. I love this! Definitely need to step away and take time to yourself sometimes, I have done that this year and it's helped me so so much!

    And I completely agree with the 'be yourself' part of it too I feel like such a grannie as I have no idea about the latest Justin Bieber songs and I don't even know who "Stormzy" is hahaha.

    Love this idea!
    nuggetstumpblog.com xx

    1. Thank you Zoe!! Definitely need to love yourself and be who you want to be x

  12. I loved reading this! We definitely need to focus on ourselves more and stop being so tough on ourselves! Xxx


  13. Love your point about not changing for anyone, and it's always a good idea to pamper yourself - great point! Have a lovely weekend Abi :)


  14. It's so important to step back and take time for yourself sometimes! We get so caught up in life that we forget what's important.


  15. Firstly, I love that you've gone back to see what goals or resolutions you set yourself for the new year. I, and many along with me, are guilty of creating resolutions, and then never going back to review them.

    Self-love and care is so incredibly important! Please, take care of yourself!

    Whatever you do, just believe in yourself. Believe that you can be a jack of all trades, believe in your choices and believe that you've made the right decisions for yourself.


  16. Being selfish is great at times! Treat yourself, make decisions that are best for you. xx

    Jordyn | www.jordynpamela.com

  17. Ahh I relate so much to the things you said. And it's true, learning to take the time and really do things for yourself takes a bit of a getting used to for those who lead very busy, overwhelming lives. Sometimes, I'm pretty sure I was born selfish, though, haha. Now my attitude about life in general has in a way evolved into something that involves me honoring myself instead of letting people walk over me, you know?
    This was a really lovely post.

    You have a gorgeous blog, actually, I'd love if we can follow each other on Bloglovin maybe? Do let me know! Hope you have a nice week x

    Joanne | Life in Blue Skies

  18. Absolutely loved this post. It's so sad how often we give up on things we personally like just to fit into a niche or certain mold that society tells us we need to fit into.

    love, kerstin


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